April 15th, 2021


Rating the months

This pertains to New England particularly Boston.

1. June: Summer solstice arrives, the college students leave, traffic opens up, usually nice and warm without being swampy.

2. October: Surprisingly pleasant weather for what is the most autumn of autumn months. Peak foliage and Halloween.

3. May: Spring arrives in its fullness after two months of false starts and witholding. Contains the most best days of the year.

4. July: The most summer of the summer months, long nights and cookouts, the promise of never having winter again.

5. September: Some of the best weather of the year marred by the "back to school feeling." Mosquitoes are still around.

6. August: The creeping feeling of summer ending keeps the month that contains my birthday from being in the top five. Tends to have the most soupy weather, too.

7. April: Switches between freezing cold and weirdly warm from weekend to weekend. Plants are starting to sprout--at least the invasive ones. Technically spring but we know better.

8. January: I know, this surprised me too. If we are going to have any winter at all it should be in the month of January. Contains the promise of a new year.

9. March: the only reason this isn't in number 12 is that the other months suck more. Contains the vernal equinox but is really the 5th month of Winter.

10. November: fucking terrible. Every day reminds you of the coldness of the grave.

11. December: sure let's have our big midwinter celebration just as winter is beginning, and then feel like killing ourselves for four months straight!

12. February: the longest month by far. My wedding anniversary is in this month in part to have an excuse to miss Valentine's day, and to leave New England in the slush and ice.