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Oh neglected social media platform

Oh Livejournal, a month has gone without a post from here. I have no ongoing blog project to force a daily post, and my attention is diverted constantly to the social media whose wheels are more squeaky and whose serotonin rewards are more immediate. If you miss me here and don't know me elsewhere, let me know. I am on:
But not yet snapchat or periscope but probably some others that I forgot. Once I am free of the busy busy busy AAZK season I will return here to post more regularly. Here's hoping the Russians make an LJ mobile app that is more useful than frustrating.
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Hooray, it's elainetyger! It seems long overdue that we meet in person. It was a quick visit, a tour of the Tropical Forest building, then we parted. Next time for drinks!

fun exercise

Talk me INTO or OUT of moving to Portland Oregon, your choice.

Winter urban nature

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I haven't dumped the pics from one of my since January. Here are some winter shots. First, Exidia recisa, one of the few mushrooms of winter, here shown slightly frozen.

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Some moss, carefully manicured in the cracks between some sidewalk slabs.

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One of the urban field markings of European beech is that it usually bears some graffiti. Usually it's initials carved in the smooth bark, so this is a nice variant.

Zoombies (2016)

Our last winter season Zookeeper movie night was a very special occasion, because we watched Zoombies (2016), a zombie movie set in a zoo, made by the studio culpable for Sharknado. Because this movie was set within a zoo, we the assembled animal care professionals devoted our exacting scrutiny to it.

First, Eden Wildlife Zoo—built as a "rehabilitation retreat for endangered animals”—appears to cover several square miles of gorgeously landscaped grounds. Pretty impressive for a place that hasn’t yet opened to the public, and with a keeper staff of four full timers and seven interns. No expense is spared, from incorporating GPS enabled microchips into all the mammals, to giving the security team a full complement of firearms, to putting the Eden logo on every piece of property in the zoo. To be fair, the realism of Zoombies easily beats out Kevin James’ Zookeeper.

The unfortunate event of a disease outbreak in the palatial zoo hospital (which in size and technology looks like a for-profit research lab) sets the movie in motion. The unknown pathogen can infect all mammals and birds except for two species that will be left unnamed in this review. Since animal care professionals are known to rush blindly into danger, it isn’t much of a spoiler to say that the full time keeper staff is doomed. That leaves our more naive and idealistic interns to cope with zombie lions and such.

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I just know the hospital keeper is going to have to clean up this mess

It would be unfair deprive you of the joy of watching the staff dwindle one by one, so let’s concentrate on the zookeepers, since we know they are all toast. Each one provides a very bad example on welcoming interns to the job. Primate keeper Daxton barks at AJ " I’m guessing you’re the kid they stuck me with?” before thrusting a poop shovel into the student’s hands. Aviary keeper Chelsea begs the zoo director, “Are you firing me and replacing me with this kid?” And after relieving himself behind a tree, zookeeper Gus is skeptical of his eager intern: "You don’t look like the kind of girl who that wants to get dirty.” Not cool, Gus, I’m setting up a meeting with HR.

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Oh yeah, then there's keeper Monte--he doesn't last long either

We can learn from Eden’s staff in other ways. Daxton ignores the flimsy wire fence protecting him from the cross river gorilla (the last in the world we are told—I guess things have gone poorly for the 300 that were still living in Africa), and instead hops right in with the great ape. Chelsea is so at home in her aviary, that she wears open-toed shoes while she works. You may get the feeling something bad might happen to her, but the chances are you won’t guess exactly what it is.

The gore effects in Zoombies are pretty fun, if you are into that sort of thing. The CGI animals on the other hand—well, there’s a reason that this movie studio brags that it’s never lost money on a release, they keep their computer animation budget pretty close to the bone. See the weightless elephants! Marvel at the police teams taken from clips from other movies and stock footage! Enjoy the hurried script, and yeoman’s work by unknown actors! Sure it’s all on the cheap, but once you see what the giraffes do to one intern, you’ll be glad you watched it.

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Birkenstocks, Chelsea? Really?


1. I bought a suit. I went to Men's Wearhouse, tried on their least expensive separates (199.00) and sent Alexis a pic. She said "looks good" I said "okay I'll take it" and then no thank you to the millions of add-ons available. I still don't have it with me because they need to cut about 18 inches off the legs. The best thing is that now I know my suit size (40 short; 34 inch waist; 27 inch inseam). So of course I bought a cheap one off the internet:
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Alexis helpfully pointed out that the thing about a cheap suit is that it looks like a cheap suit.

2. Maggie got sprayed by a skunk again, 3/24/16

3. I bought a new camera lens with my tax refund and it's really good except it doesn't do the one thing I got it for, which is to take pictures of small things close up. On the bright side, perhaps I will take and post pics of birds now.

please dress me

I have been invited to represent my workplace at a high-end fundraiser (free food and booze).

Problem: I need to get a suit
Further problem: I am short and squat and nothing off the rack has ever fit me
Even further problem: I am cheap
Now you’re just being difficult: I hate shopping worse than almost anything

Possible solution: Order inexpensive suit online, have it altered to fit my Danny DeVito/Orang utan physique.

What do you think?


I sure would like to be able to link my Livejournal and Tumblr accounts. It's easy to link Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, and some others I don't use (to tumblr) but LJ always seems a bit more difficult. I guess LJ is supposed to be used differently, but I'd like some of my tumblr content to come over here automagically.

Livejournal is a little harder to use than the others--it just hasn't kept up with the way people use the internet, I guess. I will still use LJ because it feels more permanent (and is way easier to search than the others) but less frequently I guess.

Anyway, due to my dad's health issues (vertigo--this is apparently a thing) I was in four states in 6 hours yesterday.

Also this morning I posted this on Tumblr:

I was showing the curators a dead dove (window strike), carrying it around, absent-mindedly resting my finger in its mouth, in its crop. Miraculously, it came back to life!

Note to self: don’t try this outside of dreamland.
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What is that group of people doing, way down the concrete slope, sitting at the edge of the water?

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Venicie, part 3: no really--"walk streets"

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In order to make Venice California more like Venice Italy, narrow walkways were put in the neighborhood. These are lushly planted and adorable.

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The Urban Pantheist

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May 2016



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